PROCESSES IN DIVORCE
By Maribeth Blessing, Esquire
When facing a divorce, two things are of the utmost importance
- selection of your professional(s) and selection of your process.
Both are dependent on the delineation of your ultimate goals,
the understanding of your value system, and the scope of your
finances. You need to access the parameters and limitations of
these before moving forward. So first take a minute to decide
what you want to accomplish and write it down. Explore your money
situation. Can you finance a litigious and contested divorce and
is that truly what you want? How will you finance even the most
amicable divorce? What do you want from your divorce? Do you want
to preserve a family relationship while dissolving the husband-wife
relationship? Do you want to punish your spouse? Need revenge?
Get every dollar you can, at any cost? Get out of a bad relationship
as unscathed as possible? Preserve your own mental health? Once
you decide what you want/need, then choose the professional(s)
most apt to foster those goals, work within your parameters, and
the process most beneficial to you.
The first consideration is the careful and educated selection
of your attorney and/or your alternative dispute resolution facilitator,
if applicable. Regardless of the process selected, you are most
likely going to need legal counsel. Do your homework. Ask your
friends who they used. No amount of advertising can replace old
fashioned word of mouth. Some very competent attorneys simply
don’t advertise. Were your friends happy with their attorney’s
representation? Check around and get an idea about the philosophies
and biases of the attorney(s) you are contemplating interviewing.
Ask questions during your consultation as to biases and philosophies.
Check resources - the Internet, the yellow pages, local bar associations,
lawyer groups and affiliates, and other attorneys. Never hesitate
to request the curriculum vitae of the professionals you are engaging
to guide you through this traumatic process. It is vital to ensure
“a good and comfortable fit” with the professional(s)
of choice.
Be sure your selected attorney practices primarily family law.
Be sure they keep abreast of the new developments in their area
of law. Are they current in their required continuing legal education
credits, or better yet, have they surpassed the requirement? Do
they publish in their field? Are they active in their Bar and/or
other Attorney groups and affiliates? Remember, cost is a consideration,
but be careful - an experienced attorney may do the same work
in half the amount of time as a lesser experienced attorney can
so cost is relative. Sometimes you get what you pay for, so don’t
think “cheap”. However, expensive does not necessarily
mean better. Again, do your homework and choose wisely. Most attorneys
set their rates in accordance with their experience and expertise.
Above all, make sure you are comfortable in your selection and
feel secure in your professional’s competency. Make sure
you are going to be informed and part of the decision making process
throughout. Your competent attorney can then guide you as to your
selected process or processes of resolution, as well in the selection
of the facilitators/professionals necessary to ensure your goals
are met and your interests are protected.
Now to the second consideration. Which process or combination
of processes best suits your needs and goals? Below is a brief
outline overview for your consideration. Make sure you discuss
these thoroughly with your attorney as to which best suits your
goals and needs.
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